Full Circle

Caroline and I got to hang out with my cousin, Monica and her family today.  We decided a drive up Pikes Peak mountain was in order. 

As I drove our SUV loaded with 7 members up the mountain, I was reminded of all the many EARLY morning trips I made up that mountain last year training for the Ascent.  Funny how life a year ago was so different yet so similar to this year. 

Last year we had just filled out our paperwork, our dossier was on its way to Ethioipa.  We had just begun our wait.  This year we are still waiting to bring home our baby.  We are still in the land of the unknown.

Once we got the top, I was struck  with the beauty of the state we live in.  This mountain is my backyard, literally.  I have the privilege of climbing and driving up that mountain most days (at least in the summer). 

I really enjoyed showing the mountain to Caroline for the first time.  I have found myself swaying back and forth between a world far away with lots of waiting and trying to make the most of this summer with my family now.  I really enjoyed my time with Caroline.  I enjoyed just hanging out with her.  She has a wonderful artistic eye, an exuberance for life and always something to say. 

At the top of the mountain, I was reminded of all the hard work I did training for the Ascent.  The race ended up be horrific.  But I finished and I see that medal on my desk every day.  I survived and I came out better because of it.  Whenever life seems to be too full, to heavy, my mantra is “Remember the Ascent!”  (Right Pam?!) I am hoping that next year I get to drive up Pikes Peak with my new bigger family, Desta included.

We just received word from our agency that MOWA (the office in Ethiopia that handles all adoptions) will be closed tomorrow, July 8 to July 24 for training and meetings. 

In order to secure a court date and pass court, we need a letter of recommendation from MOWA.  We have neither right now.

There is still rumor of court closure August 7.  There will be MANY cases MOWA will have to handle once they open.

Please pray that court will remain open this year. Please pray that we can secure a court date still in July. Please pray that a letter of recommendation will be written so we can pass court and travel to get our daughter.

It’s been a very rainy summer so far.  Our Fourth of July consisted of 60 degrees and rainstorms all day. 

I love looking around outside and seeing so much green everywhere!  Considering we were in a middle of a drought the past few years, this rain is a huge blessing!  But now I’m ready for the sun!  smile

Summer has been lazy and enjoyable.  Matt’s mom is spending another summer with us.  I’ve always loved having her here but have come to realize in the past few years what a tremendous GIFT having her here has been for our family.  

I was raised overseas and saw my grandparents every three or four years.  My parents did a good job keeping us as connected as possible (I can still recall all those many ham radio conversations.  “Over and out.”) but it’s not the same as having them physically present.

Mimi, as she is affectionately called by her grandchildren, is a bundle of energy.  She is always up for a trip somewhere, a hike to the fields, baking cookies, playing games and reading books.  I feel so blessed that my children get to experience a grandmother on a daily basis for several weeks at a time.  I enjoy the adult conversation during the day and the companionship for our many field trips.

Mimi is coming with us to Ethiopia to get our daughter.  As Matt described it, we want her with us in the delivery room!  I cannot think of a better gift from anyone, to be willing to travel halfway around the world to witness the birth of a third child into our family. 

As I get older, my idea of what a perfect gift has changed.  I used to value stuff (and don’t get me wrong, I can produce a list of what I’d like).  I am seeing as the years march on how time with those who mean the most to us is the MOST important gift.  Time with grandparents is especially treasured as there is also a passage of family legacy from one to another. 

I am excited for Desta (that will be her name when she enters our family) to experience being part of such a rich and wonderful legacy.  It’s a good thing.

Receiving a referral is wonderful.  I liken getting our referral to the times I saw our children for the first time on the ultrasound screen.

Prior to that 18 week ultrasound, I knew I was pregnant, I could even feel the baby move around. But when they put the wand on my tummy and showed me my baby, it was a whole new level.  There before me was feet, hands, a head and a body.  A real live baby.

That is how I felt when I saw a picture of our daughter for the first time 10 days ago.  She really is alive and real.  And now she is waiting for us.  Well, she doesn’t know she’s waiting, she’s only 2 months old, but I know I’m waiting!

Since our dossier has been in Ethiopia, I have felt drawn to Isaiah.  In fact, we have a paraphrase portion of Isaiah 43 on our daughter’s wall.

This morning I was up early again.  Darn elusive sleep!

I read Isaiah 45 and was immediately struck with an image of the court proceedings for our daughter’s case. We don’t have a court date yet but we will go to court at some point.

Isaiah 45: 20, 21.

“Gather together and come; assemble, you fugitives from the nations.  Declare what is to be, present it– let them take counsel together.  Who foretold this long ago, who declared it from the distant past?  Was it not I, the Lord? And there is no God apart from me, a righteous God and a Savior; there is none but me!”

As I read that passage, I was struck with how much I’ve long to be in control of this entire process.  I have longed to have a timeline, a definite plan and idea as to when we will bring our daughter home.   How very proud of me!

Seriously, I think that I know best when it is GOD who made the universe, GOD who stretched his own hands out to the heavens and marshaled their starry hosts (Is. 45:12). I need to TRUST and REST in the fact that the counsel will come together, that GOD will be present and HE will decided the best time to bring our daughter home.

Here is a small bit of the formula you all helped send to Ethiopia.

This is a  photo of Furtuna, AWAA’s Transition Home director with one of the latest shipments of the formula.

Thank you again for bringing this wonderful drink to the babies in Addis!

I love living in a town where the libraries are extensive and filled with excellent books.

In the summer, there are plenty of activities for my children to attend.  In fact, we could be at the library every day, doing something different.

Having grown up overseas, I am in awe of all the resources for kids in this country.

So here we come African Drums, puppet master and arts and crafts!  Thank you PPLD for providing some amazing FREE resources for my kids this summer.

They even giving great coupons for reading prizes.  We are heading to free gymnastics today to redeem one!

I was telling my mother in law today at dinner how we’ve gone from one wait list to another.  And still have more wait lists to go!  I’ve said this before but adoption is not for the faint of heart!

So, while we wait, we are playing and having fun.  And margaritas are a fun thing to have!  Here is my favorite recipe and is used a lot around here in the summer.

So, I’ll wait with a margarita in hand.  Not bad!  smile

Preparation

Combine sugar and 3/4 cup water in a small saucepan; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer 5 minutes or until sugar dissolves. Remove from heat; cool completely. Stir in lime juice.

Combine sugar mixture, tequila, orange juice, and amaretto in a pitcher. Serve over ice. Garnish with lime slices.

I have found myself awake the past few nights around 2 am.  Wide awake, my heart is burdened to pray for our daughter in Ethiopia and our family here.

I spent a good amount of time last night reading the Psalms.  I remember Kelly Williams, our pastor at Vanguard, talking about how he writes Scripture into his journal as a way of cementing those thoughts into his mind.

For the past few weeks (around 2 months actually), I have found myself praying for our daughter’s caregivers, specifically asking that she be held when crying and smiled at a lot.  As I  was reading, I came upon Psalm 33:14.

“from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth-”

As I was reading blogs today, I came upon this one from a team who just returned from Addis. The team spent a day at the transitional home where our daughter it right now.  I read this from the blog and my heart immediately felt at ease.

“It was awesome to visit the home and meet all our staff. We have grown exponentially in our Ethiopia program and staff in Ethiopia, and it was wonderful to see and witness. We have sixty nannies on staff and four nurses ! There was not one time that a baby cried that it went unheld or tended to.”

God is watching from his dwelling place. He is taking care of our daughter.  My prayers continue to go forth as I wait and see the good things he has in store for our family.

It has been a strange few days since we got our referral.  I feel like I’m living with one foot in this world, and the other foot across the world.

I have found myself moved to tears, thinking about our daughter’s story (what little we know) and her life these past 2 months.  Two months. That’s not a long time when you think about one’s life.  But in her life, 2 months has carried her on a journey to many places already. 

This Mommy’s heart is getting pretty emotional when I stop and reflect on those big eyes.  I look forward to the day (hopefully very soon) when I can hold her in my arms, sing her the song that’s been in my heart all these months, rock her to sleep and tell her how deeply she’s been loved.

I wrote a post  in April about how my heart had stopped thinking and praying for her mother and instead turned to our daughter. This morning I looked up my thoughts about that post in my journal.  From the time line provided by our agency, it seems that my heart knew that our daughter was being born right about then!  Wild!  Once again I see God’s hand in this adoption, all the way down to such a small detail as this Mommy feeling the need to pray especially hard for her daughter that day!

We have also learned that our daughter is enjoying some really yummy high calorie milkshakes every day!  Yes, the formula drive that so many of you GENEROUSLY donated to is in fact, helping our daughter gain weight and grown strong and healthy.  WOW, again, how amazing that God used another one of my heart’s nudgings to help our baby girl.

I keep coming to that passage of Scripture in Matthew 6: 26

 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

How much more valuable are we?  I completely get it now.  I get how you can love someone you have NEVER met. I get how you can long and cry and pray for someone who you have never hugged.  I look at our baby girl all day long, pray for her little body that it will stay healthy. I pray for her spirit that she will be strong and know that this Mommy and Daddy, all the way around the world, are loving her and praying for her to come home soon!

Amen!

I am copying bits of Matt’s email to our church family.  He does a wonderful job of explaining some of how yesterday transpired. I am still in awe that we have a baby girl across the world waiting for us. I can’t take my eyes off her photo. She is perfect for our family! (and Kirsten, she has yours and Tobin’s toes!)

“Melodie and I are up at a family reunion in MN with about 60 relatives. This morning, we received our referral for a 2-month-old baby girl in Ethiopia from our agency. There’s not a lot we can share in terms of details until we pass court. But I wanted to share this praise with you and also ask for continued prayer.

We can’t post any pictures of our daughter before we pass court.  I have photos of me showing my family her referral photo while in MN.  I have an AMAZING photo of me showing Caroline, our daughter, her little sister for the first time.  I will post that on Face Book.